令人无语爆笑英语笑话3篇

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话1　　ATrafficAccident　　Amanwasdrivingtoworkwhenatruckranastopsign.Ithithiscarbroadside,and下面是小编为大家整理的令人无语爆笑英语笑话3篇,供大家参考。

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话1

　　A Traffic Accident

　　A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign.It hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.

　　Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing "Shell" sign. And somebody was standing in front of the "S."

　　交通事故

　　有个人开车行驶在上班的.路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。

　　过了一会儿，他*静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个“S”。

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话2

　　The Choice of Word

　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.

　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.

　　选词

　　一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：“爸-爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了“爸爸”这个词首先教孩子。

　　几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，亲爱的。”妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇扩展阅读

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展1）

——令人喷饭的爆笑英语笑话3篇

令人喷饭的爆笑英语笑话1

　　Leg?Ham!

　　一朋友第一次来英国正好遇上入关检查特严，她妈妈让她给这边的一个朋友带了个金华火腿结果被狗狗闻出来了就被领去office了。然后officer就要她解释用报纸包起来的东西是什么……

　　我那同学说leg……

　　然后那officer一脸被吓到的表情，问了句"Pardon?!" 我那朋友很大声重复说leg!

　　她说我当时想那officer怎么连火腿都不懂，还特地在腿上比划了半天leg啊leg就是leg啊……

　　提示：让我们复习一下火腿怎么说吧~是 ham 哦。而 leg 则是腿部的统称，第一反应是人腿。所以officer绝对被震惊到了呢~

　　Yes or No?

　　有次房东问我 Did u eat anyting yet? 我说no。

　　她听后重复了一遍 So u didn"t eat anyting. 我说 yes。

　　房东老太太犹豫了下又问"Did u eat ?" 我说 no。

　　她接着说 So u didn"t eat 。我说 yes。

　　估计她当时要崩溃了

　　提示：这应该是个很老的段子了，无奈小编每次听还是会觉得很好笑。文化差异这东东还真根深蒂固呢。于是再复习一次吧。

　　英语国家的说话习惯是按照事实情况回答，吃了就是Yes，没吃就是No，不管问句是以肯定开头还是否定。

令人喷饭的爆笑英语笑话2

　　You know

　　留学前，我觉得自己英文还行，甚至讲起英语来还有口头禅，总爱模仿美剧中老美的口音，说话前先来句“You Know…”作为开场白。当时感觉，这样开始对话会产生些许亲近感，能马上跟对方套上近乎。

　　我们有一门考试是要跟导师面对面坐下交谈的。因为*时上课时我提问比较多，暗自感觉她应该蛮喜欢我。而且我接触到的美国人普遍给人感觉都是挺容易相处的， 所以即使是老师，大家面对面时也能像朋友般。考试的时候，我也想借此营造一种轻松和*等的对话氛围。记得我当时被问及的题目是“你如何看待嘉年华这种形式”。我习惯性地脱口而出：“You know, I haven’t had any carnival before, but…”

　　正当我准备口若悬河炫耀自己的英语口语时，只见对方面无表情地瞪了我一眼，毫不客气地打断说“I don’t know。”突然间我尴尬得无地自容。更难堪的是，老师还紧接着用质疑的`口吻补充道：“Really?You don’t have any carnival before?”那表情仿佛在告诉我，“你从没经历过嘉年华?怎么来回答这个问题?怎么发表你的见解?”

　　我就知道接下去的对话没可能简单进行了，更别提想得高分了……

　　提示：You know是一个非正式的表达，所以不合适用于这样的正式场合，也最好不要跟导师这么说。

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展2）

——令人无语的笑话故事3篇

令人无语的笑话故事1

　　1、同学聚会，聊工作方面的事，问到一位同学，他说：“世界五百强，还配有专车。”

　　大家都很羡慕，但是问他单位叫什么，他怎么都不说，后来喝大了才知道，原来他是肯德基送外卖的……

　　2、早上上自习，一同学气喘吁吁的跑到教室，大声喊道：“重大新闻，重大新闻，老师说今天不论是雨天还是晴天都要考试。”

　　同学们哄笑起来，说：“这也算重大新闻?”

　　该同学一本正经的道：“你们还不知道吧，今天既不是雨天也不是晴天，外面下雪了!”

　　3、毕业吃散伙饭时，同学甲喝了几杯酒后，走到自己暗恋了4年的女生面前，对她说：“让我给你看看手相吧。”

　　女生：“你会看手相啊，看的准不准啊?”

　　说着还是递上了自己的右手。甲端详了一阵说：“虽然看手相这事不靠谱，但是我还是看出了一件事情!

　　女生问看出了什么，他说：“你，五行缺我!”

　　4、临近毕业，他和她去了他们以前常去的小吃店。

　　“嗯，我知道。嗯，我会的.。嗯，你也是。嗯，记得吃饭。”吃饭的时候，他一个人喃喃道。

　　“怎么了?”她抬起头。

　　他看了看她：“我在练习自言自语。”

　　“嗯?为什么?”她又问道。

　　他放下筷子：“我只是在习惯没有你的日子。”

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展3）

——无语爆笑笑话

无语爆笑笑话1

　　1、能对熊说：多走走路不仅对身体有好处，而且还可以节能减排。所以，我就将自己那辆小四轮给卖了。

　　2、哭对器说：大兄弟，别一天到晚把家里的`那四盏灯开着。两盏灯已经很亮了，少点一盏灯就能多节约一度电，节约归己的同时又为低碳作贡献，何乐而不为呢?

　　3、冼对洗说：水资源越来越珍贵了，能省一“点”就该多省一“点”。

　　4、彐对归说：朋友，你边上的筷子不是一次性的吧?如果是，我会严重鄙视你。

　　5、力对历说：现在办实体对环境的污染实在是太大了，所以我经过深思熟虑，就把自家的厂子给关掉了。

　　6、气对汽说：天然气资源是相当有限的，能够节约就一定得节约，但你往里面掺水不太好吧?

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展4）

——令人笑喷饭的英语笑话3篇

令人笑喷饭的英语笑话1

　　A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:

　　Mother: "What does the cow say?"

　　Child: "Moo!"

　　Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

　　Child: "Meow."

　　Mother: "Oh, you"re so smart! What does the frog say?"

　　And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,

　　"Bud."

令人笑喷饭的英语笑话2

　　A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can"t explain."

　　"So what happened that"s so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

　　"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

　　"Okay," said the man, "but that"s not so bad." "Some things you just can"t explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

　　"And then?"

　　"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

　　The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can"t explain." "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

　　"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

　　"And then?"

　　"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

　　"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can"t explain," the farmer said.

　　"So, what did you do?" the man asked.

　　"Well," the farmer said, "I didn"t have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can"t explain."

令人笑喷饭的英语笑话3

　　A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

　　It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

　　The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

　　The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

　　"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn"t have crawled up there in the first place!"

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展5）

——爆笑诙谐英语笑话 (菁选3篇)

爆笑诙谐英语笑话1

　　A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I"d pulled you out, they"d chuck me in."

　　最好的奖赏

　　一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

　　“最好的`办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

爆笑诙谐英语笑话2

　　A farmer"s boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　男孩和蜗牛

　　一个乡下少年到处寻找蜗牛，当他双手都塞满了蜗牛后，就准备点火烤着吃。火点着了，蜗牛也开始感觉到热了，他们纷纷退向坚壳的深处，同时还发出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子听到了蜗牛发出的嘘声，便说：“你们这些连命都快没有的家伙，怎么还能有心情在窝里着火时吹口哨呢?”

爆笑诙谐英语笑话3

　　A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

　　He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

　　The store owner replies, "I"m sorry, but the cat isn"t for sale.

　　The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I"ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

　　The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat"s used to it and it"ll save me from having to get a dish."

　　To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that"s my lucky saucer. So far this week I"ve sold sixty-eight cats."

令人无语的爆笑英语笑话3篇（扩展6）

——英语短篇笑话爆笑 (菁选3篇)

英语短篇笑话爆笑1

　　It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.

　　"Hello, who"s that?" she asked.

　　"It"s me--Peter."

　　Peter was a friend of Mary"s eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

　　"Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?" said Mary.

　　"Can I speak to Johnny?"

　　"No," said Mary, "you can"t speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I"vegot to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming."

英语短篇笑话爆笑2

　　Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.

　　The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don"t feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn"t hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.

　　A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.

英语短篇笑话爆笑3

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　Tom: I don"t know, father.

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?

　　汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　父亲：啊，不对，你知道!想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课?

　　汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。